Lend a hand

Ladies, ask men what would be their ideal frequency for sex and I reckon the majority would answer 'nearly daily'. I can manage a day without, but longer than that and I start getting edgy and longer than two days I generally need to take care of things myself. As much as I am blessed with a wife who loves regular sex, there are times when C has a bad migraine or is on her period and is just not in the mood, and as we know, women do not have the same physical need for sexual release that us men do. On these occasions, do your man a favor and without him having to beg, offer to give him quick oral or manual relief. It will likely only take 2-3 minutes and will make him feel really cherished and loved. What I really enjoy when C does this for me is that I can focus purely on my own pleasure without feeling selfish. When we make love, I take care to satisfy C first, before focusing on my own pleasure, and it is great every now and then for it to be just all about me. A simple hand job can provide a really intense release.

It took a long time in our marriage for C to admit that her reticence to offer to take care of me in this way was based largely on just not knowing how to approach it. So then, how to give the perfect hand job? Here are a couple of tips that we have picked up over the years: First up, do it enthusiastically because you really want to pleasure your man, and not grudgingly or out of a sense of duty, we can definitely tell the difference. Secondly, it can be uncomfortable getting the angle right when lying down next to your spouse. Instead, have him lie on the bed with his knees bent and his feet apart, and then kneel or sit cross-legged between his legs. Third, use lube or a generous dollop of body lotion which prevents chaffing and really ups the pleasure factor. Then, ask your man to demonstrate to you how he masturbates. Note the grip and pressure that he uses, how far up and down his shaft he strokes, and the speed that he prefers, plus how this changes as he approaches orgasm. Does he grip and move the skin up and down the underlying shaft, or does he slide his hand up and down over the skin, and does this change as he approaches orgasm? Fourthly, apply more pressure than you would use on yourself, probably a lot more - you really can grip and squeeze the shaft (but not his testicles!) quite tightly, especially towards the end (makes you realize why doing your kegels is so important, doesn't it? ;)   Finally, and this is the tricky bit, don't stop stroking firmly until he has finished ejaculating, but watch carefully, and stop as soon as he gives you any indication that his orgasm is over. Like you, his penis, especially the head, gets intensely sensitive afterwards and any continued stimulation can be quite uncomfortable. All that then remains is to snuggle up and bask in the joint satisfaction of a job well done!